Now this is a topic that is extremely close to my heart and one I have never talked about before with anyone other than my family so please be kind! It also requires a little bit of back history about me, but stick with it!
At the age of 18 I was diagnosed with severe depression. I had a tough time at school be it someone stealing my pencil case aged 6 or being called an 'ugly bitch' aged 12. Life goes on though and I learnt to cope with all these things. I began having depressive episodes about age 13 and that was when I first tried to hurt myself. As if being a hormonal teenager wasn't tough enough!!
So at 18 I was put on a large concoction of medication and was watched 24 hours a day, I wasn't even allowed to pee on my own. I'm not going to sing the praises of the NHS, my doctor was great and fixed price medicine is a God send. Everything else was dreadful!
Now anyone that has suffered any form of depression will tell you there is no joy in anything. It's as if you're trapped in a little glass box which has had the colour drained. You can see the fun things, you know they are fun things, but you can't join in. 99% of the population won't understand this though and if I have a penny for every time I'd been told to pull myself together!
One of the only things that gave me a small amount of pleasure was vintage clothes. Perhaps not in my darker moments but certainly through recovery they have been a fantastic focus. They got me out of my pyjamas for a start! The thing is over that last 100 years (which is what my personal collection contains) there has been such a great variety of styles and with each of them went a different lifestyle.
To me the era that screams fun, lovely, bouncy, happy girls is the 1950's. I have never put on a good full skirted dress and not had the urge to spin in it. They make me want to ride a Vesper very badly through the streets of Italy a la Miss Hepburn in Roman Holiday. Then there are the ball gowns, dear lord, I would wear one of those to buy a pint of milk from the shop next door if I could. They are A-MA-ZING!!
Vintage clothes gave me an opportunity to forget what was going on in my life and choose a someone else's life for a while. Yes it was escapism, but it gave me a tiny bit of joy that I could cling on to, and for a split second it made me want to get better. For a moment these dresses gave me a fighting spirit and most importantly they gave me hope. They let me believe I wasn't always going to feel this way forever and that death wasn't my only way out.
Fast forward two years and I'm about to turn 20. I was finally given some medication that helped back in January and for the first time I'm starting to feel, what I imagine it feels like, to be a regular human being. Vintage is part of my life more than ever and although sometimes I just want to chuck on a comfy knit dress at least I'm getting dressed!
My business has grown to reflect my experiences and I'm always trying to find the most beautiful, luxurious pieces. It might not seem like much but I want to sell dresses and clothes that make someone feel really great about themselves when they are worn. One of those show stopping numbers you can dress up, dress down, chuck on after a difficult day at work and it still makes you feel great.
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| My favourite 60's shift! |
I do realise most people that buy things from me will just consider the garment a beautiful piece to add to their wardrobe, but if I can help one person to find a dress that gives them the same feeling that mine gave me I would feel I'd done my bit :) You can find our website
HERE
Love
Ellie x
If you'd like to know more about mental health problems go to www.mind.org.uk or you can contact me via the form on my website
HERE
